Shen’s Entire Life History, In Detail No One Should Ever Know About: Nah, I'll answer anything. lol I'm not ashamed of my past. I just don't tell people unless they ask. That way, those who don't care, don't have to. lol So first question you asked. Why am I alone? Well. My mother never wanted children. Apparently she cried in shame when she found out she was pregnant with me. She'd had an abortion a couple years before me, but couldn't afford it that second time. My father wasn't all that interested in children either. He left when I was 2. Never really did anything with me after that unless I instigated it. I shouldn't have to ASK to spend time with my father. He should want to. As I got older he turned into a bit of a drunkard and used me multiple times to try and get back at my mother (although she did the same with me towards him, she wasn't innocent either!). The last time I talked to my father was when I was 18. He called me on my graduation day to tell me not to cash my child support cheque until after the weekend or something. Needless to say, on such an IMPORTANT DAY, the fact that that's all he called me for, was the last straw. He clearly wasn't interested in having a child. My mother was emotionally/mentally/physically abusive. She'd tell me I was fat and ugly, a bitch, a slut (I'm 24 and STILL A VIRGIN.yeah, I'm such a slut /sarcasm), that I had no self-esteem because I was fat, etc. And she'd hit me 10+ times in a row, or if I ducked or covered my head so she couldn't hit me, she'd grab me and kick me instead. She told me I was her posession and she could do whatever she wanted to me because she owned me. So I was a thing. She told me all of my life that my grandfather sexually molested me. But I don't remember a lot of my childhood. But it kinda fucked me up regardless. If you tell a 4 year old that a man hurt you, it sticks with you. And she'd hit me or scream at me if I said I didn't remember anything happening. She tried to make me go to therapists and say that I was "so angry at her" for other reasons. She never fessed up to what she did to me. The last words she ever said to me were "If you don't such your fucking mouth I'll drown your fat fucking head in the toilet". I went to school the next day, and never went back home. I left home when I was 17. Found a place to stay with a friend for a week, then found another place to stay until I finished school. I haven't seen my mother since that day, and happily so. I don't consider her my mother. It was about a year after I left that I moved to another town where I happened to have other family. But see, my mother kept me seperated from any other family. I never knew cousins or aunts or uncles or grandparents. She kept me away from everyone so she could do what she wanted and no one would stop her. BUT. After I was away from her, family members approached me. Then I found out that ALL OF THEM knew what she'd do to me. They all knew that she would be abusive and WAS abusive towards me and did NOTHING. They couldn't tell the police because "they just couldn't be bothered dealing with her". A bunch of adults, who were my BLOOD FAMILY, "couldn't be bothered' helping a child who was being abused? I was pretty damn pissed and completely sickened by their behavior. To me, that's not a family. Family doesn't let a small child go through that. So I moved away, as far as I could afford to, and pretend none of them exists. I do miss having a family, especially when I see everyone else with theirs. But I'd rather have no family than the one I had. XP It's been almost 5 years since I saw a family member. Longer since I saw my father or mother. Second question. What do I do for x-mas? Normally I do nothing for christmas. I have a 2 foot plastic tree that I put out the first couple years by myself but I like decorating for other people. I never really had a "family christmas" but regardless, christmas is a family time to me. So I don't bother decorating just for myself. I never had a lot of friends through high school. The only real life friend I have is like a sister to me, but she's got her own family to be with at christmas time and for the next 2 years is out of country in England. So I don't know anyone in my city. I try not to watch sappy x-mas shows. I love them. But it's depressing. So I normally don't turn the tv on that much during december.
My birthday is pretty much the same thing. It's 4 days after x-mas. Last year I bought myself a cake and some ice cream as a treat, but that's about it. My best friend gave me a call from England. But I don't do anything. Most people online never remember. lol So I just keep to myself mostly in december. I don't expect this year to be any different than previous years. Except I'm hoping to save some money and buy myself a nintendo DS as an x-mas/birthday present to myself. lol I'm asexual. So I've never really had a REAL boyfriend. I've only dated like 4 times, but never with the same person twice. And that's in like 5 years. So I don't even have 1 date a year. lol The only broken heart I feel as if I've had, is one in which *I* kinda broke my own heart. lol I liked someone in highschool, and have always kept my liking of him. I knew he liked me in highschool too. Heck, his MOM told me. But he was a few years younger than me, and he was also kinda like a little brother to me. So I was confused and unsure if I wanted to go to that next step. After I graduated I'd be moving away. And he still had like 2 years of highschool left after me. So I didn't say anything. But he's always been the only real crush I've ever had, and I still have feelings for him. But he's engaged now, to a really nice girl who treats him very well. So I don't hate her or anything. I think she's awesome. And very lucky. And him and I remain "brother and sister" (we're not related biologically at all, we're just kinda close like family). But it still kinda stings when he gives me a brotherly hug, becaus I kinda wish it wasn't brotherly. But I gave up my chance with him and that's my fault. I'll just be happy for him. : ) 1. What inspired Shen'? I was 19. I needed a character to represent me. lol She started out as a white Anubis styled Jackal furry. The Anubis-styled Jackal slowly evolved into the Ananke over the years. About 3 months after I created her furry self, I drew my first ever image of Human!Shen'. She's always been a ninja chick. lol Always loved purple. Always had a sword. She's based quite heavily off of my personality (what people don't normally see) and my likes/dislikes. The current ShenTao's life and name are pretty much just "story" embelishments of everything of my own. lol She's slowly moving away from a persona though, because Shen' is 19 and I'm almost 25. lol Soon she'll just become my main character and more like a child and a friend than a version of myself. Which I'm not sad about. She's just becoming more of her own person, which I like. : ) 2.What music or song, no matter what, is one that soothes you into a comfort no matter how many times you've listened to it? This tends to change over time. I've never had a song stay with me forever. I always hear new songs that just speak to me. lol Normally it depends on my mood. I have songs that represent Rip. Songs that represent Shen'. Songs that represent them both together. It depends on "who" I'm in the mood for. lol A taste of Rip, or Shen' or both. lol Some of my favorites (that I've had for a year or more now) are "Waiting for the Snow" and "Cinderalla" by Helen Trevillion, "You'll Be in My Heart" by Phil Colins, "Frozen" by Madonna, and "Sexy Back" by Justin Timberlake. :3 3. If you were able to live ANYWHERE you wished, without worrying about it money wise, where would you call home? (Note that I mean ANYWHERE, real or not =P) Hope, British Columbia. It's where I've got Shen' and Rip living in Shikonki. lol I chose it because British Columbia is where I'd love to live. It's still in Canada, is on the coast and is the complete opposite of where I am now. And I'd like to be as far away from here as physically possible, while remaining in Canada. lol Now, I'd LOVE to visit Japan and stay for awhile, but I wouldn't want to live there forever. lol But I'd like the world to be like it is in Shikonki. That's my ideal world. lol 4. What is your favorite food? Why? Pizza. Totally. I'm a picky eater. I DISLIKE most everything. lol Homemade pizza is the healthiest thing I eat. XD It's not greasy or anything, has vegetables, bread, cheese, meat. It has all kinds of good stuff and tastes great! lol But I also like ice cream a lot. <3 Particularily coffee ice cream. And home made cinnamin buns. There are these Philsburry ones you can get that are DELICIOUS. It's not really food, but I'm a fan of tea (Red Rose orange tea), hot chocolate (no marshmellows) and pepsi. And apple juice. lol
5. What is your definition of a "peaceful place"? Somewhere I feel peaceful. lol Gosh how to really define that? Somewhere where I'm me. Filled with things and sounds and smells that are "me". I'm trying to decorate my apartment to feel more peaceful. The livingroom is asian/oriental. The kitchen is "hippie". The bathroom is "water and rubber duckies". My bedroom is "Anime and Animation". Or just generally cartoons and stuffed animals (LOVE LOVE LOVE stuffed animals!). And I'm going to print MY artwork and decorate the apartment in it. I also love the smells of lilacs. Although I'm allergic to real ones. lol So I have nice scented candles. I like candles. ^_^ So.I guess a place that's peaceful to me is a place that kinda IS me. lol Right now my room is more finished than the other rooms (decorating is EXPENSIVE and I don't have a lot of money. lol). So going to bed is really nice. <3 6. Do you have anyone who isn't family related that you've ever felt closest to? I don't have any family that's biological. lol So I couldn't feel close to them if I wanted to. XD; My best friend ~onela is someone I've known since elementary and my only real life friend. She's like a sister to me. : ) 7. What is your philosophy on how life works? This mostly depends on how I feel. lol Somedays I'm all about "it's not fair and it sucks so GET OVER IT". lol But mostly I think life is about balance. Some people just seem to get ALL the luck. Their lives are nothing but good fortune and luck. Just really really happy all the time. But for those people to get all the good stuff, some people have to have bad lives, where really bad stuff happens all the time (I'm one of these people.if someone said I was cursed, I'd believe them). And then some people get a nice mixture of good and bad. So it's all balanced. 8. Do you believe in Karma? Fate? No. Not unless I was Hitler and every other horrible son of a bitch in history. That's the only way the amount of bad luck and karma I have is still here. I won't even cross the freaking STREET unless it's a walk sign! I don't jaywalk like half the rest of the freaking city. I don't drink. I don't do drugs. I don't smoke. I've 24 and a virgin. I'm a goody-two-shoes and I admit it! But I've got nothing but bad karma. If 1 little thing goes right, I've pretty much gotta duck and cover because TONS of bad stuff happens right afterwards. It never fails and happens like CLOCKWORK. And yet I know lots of horrible, nasty people who live the good life. So no. Karma hasn't proven it exists to me. lol And fate? No. I think we control our lives. Within reason. Some people just live good lives without effort, and some live bad lives no matter what. But lots in life is up to us. Half of my family are alcoholics and I have the possibility of being one too. I handle alcohol really easily. So it takes a LOT to make me drunk (although I've never been drunk). So instead of just giving in and becoming an alcoholic, I made up my mind when I was 19 to never drink. At all. I don't eat or drink ANYTHING with alcohol in it and won't hang out with people who are drinking. 7. Do you have brothers or sisters? I don't associate with ANY of my biological family. They're assholes. The lot of them. But solely on a biological standpoint? No. I have no biological brothers/sisters. I have 1 brother and sister from a marriage (so they are technically step-brother/step-sister to me) and 1 half brother I only really saw a few times and haven't seen in like 10 years. 8. Where does your family live? Um.last I knew my mother was in Charlesville, Nova Scotia (about 3 hours from me). And most of the rest of my family is in Yarmouth, Nova Scotia (about 4 hours from me). 9. Where do you live? Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada. 10. When and why did you choose to move out? Or do you still live with them? My father I never really knew. My mother was abusive. I left home when I was 17 and found somewhere to stay until I finished school. I haven't seen them since. I think that covers both questions. lol 11. Did you go to school (college)? What was it like for you? Are you still attending? I was pressured to go to university but dropped out after half a year. I just wanted to work and live quietly. I didn't care what my work was. I didn't like university at all. My apartment was always loud because of university kids partying and no one ever talked to me or be my partner in university. It was worse than highschool. XP Hated it. HATE. I never wanted to go.
12. What's your goals? What do you plan to do as a career? I have a medical disability. So I can't work anymore. Right now it's all about making me well enough to maybe work again one day. But nothing seems to really be working. I have Fibromyalgia, Scolliosis and my knees are shot (have been since I was 16). So right now, it's all about blood tests and getting things fixed. I never really wanted some big fancy career. I just wanted a simple job and to live a quiet, simple life. I'd love to be a fashion designer or author though. Those are the things I'd LOVE. But I don't need them to be happy. 13. Are you close to what you've dreamed? Not really, no. I never wanted to be sick and it's kinda just been getting worse instead of better. Something new always springs up. But I never wanted anything grand to begin with. lol But I'd like a bit more than being unable to work and being sick all the time. XP 14. Can we extend phone numbers? lol It'd be pretty damn expensive for you to call Nova Scotia. My phone is usually not working either. XD; I have no one to call and when money is low, I don't buy time for my cell phone. In the last 3 months only 1 I've had my cell phone charged with call time. A phone just isn't all that important in my life. lol You can have my number, but have fun trying to catch it with paid time on it. lol 1-902-981-6463. The 1 is the country number. The 902 is my province number. The rest is my specific phone number. lol 15. Ever think we could try putting together a short story? To tell the truth, probably not. I can't even finish my own stories. XD I love writing, but I barely do it. I just can't sit at the computer long enough to write. I have a sofa-bed in the livingroom that I sit at to use the computer. I have to pull the bed out just to be comfortable enough to write. lol But it's SO MUCH WORK that I don't do it often at all. lol 16. What's your favorite soda? drink? coffee? tea? desk? bed? Pepsi. Totally. But I'm not supposed to have caffeine. lol I also like chocolate milk, tea, hot coco, apple juice and grape juice. Don't care for coffee. I like Red Rose orange tea. With sugar and milk. I don't have a desk. I have a coffee table older than I am that has my computer on it. lol Well. Under the coffee table is my scanner and sub-woofer. Atop the table is one of my speakers and my monitor. On the floor beside my coffee table is my tower and another speaker. lol My tablet is atop my tower. But I use my tablet as a coaster for drinks. XD; Bed.I like spring beds! My bed is a box-spring and is hard as a rock. I hate it. 17. Do microwaves behave for you? (They don't for me. lol) My microwave works fine for me. ^_^ 18. Do you like to cook? Can you cook? Were you self taught? or have instruction? I'm a picky eater. lol The things I like are pretty easy to cook. Sometimes I like cooking, sometimes I don't. I'm self-taught. But I do normally need a recipee. lol Especially if it's something I don't do often or if it's new. Pizza I don't need a recipe with, because I've made it so much. lol 19. How long have you been drawing? I doodled a little when I was growing up and took some lessons in realism and graphite when was 12. But I really started drawing seriously when I was 19. 20. Do you ever feel discouraged due to how some people see your art? Totally. It's really disheartening when I constantly read around DeviantART that I'm not an artist or that my art isn't art because of my style. It hurts for awhile, but I do get over it and feel better later. It doesn't get me down for all that long. Normally I'll be sad for a couple hours but I'll feel better after. : ) 21. What do you consider annoying? Hmm. The stuff from the previous question annoys me. I shouldn't have to fight and struggle to be considered an artist. I usually stop watching people who whine/bitch/complain about anime artists or other styles in general. I also find people screaming "pose theft' or "style theft" highly annoying and often stop watching those sorts of artists too. Because pose thef and style theft are bullshit and DO NOT EXIST. I don't like greedy, closedminded artists. But they're welcomed to their opinion, so I just stop watching them and don't say anything. That way I can be happy, and so can they. lol Noisey neighbors are annoying. And their dogs. And so are people who assume I'm a nazi/racist just because I like the swastika. I don't like people who are too lazy to do research and just assume things about people.
22. What are your views on video games? I love video games. : ) I don't play them that often though. lol Usually I'm too itnerested in watching something on tv or drawing or whathaveyou. But I try playing my Animal Crossing came for a few minutes each day. I used to like playing my gameboy, but it's outdated and I beat all my games for it. lol I'm hoping to save enough money to buy myself a DS for x-mas. And a game too. But I have a few different consoles. I have a nintendo (regular old one) with like 4 or 5 games. A gameboy. A sega gameboy. A nintendo 64 and a gamecube. And I'm babysitting my best friends DreamCast. lol 23. What kind of tablet do you prefer? The only kind I've tried is Graphire. I have a Graphite 4. But I barely use it. I do all of my coloring with my mouse. I keep my tablet around for emergencies. Like last week when my mouse broke suddenly. I used my tablet mouse as a backup. And somethings I do are just easier to use a tablet pen for, but that doesn't often come up. lol 24. What art programs do you use? Where or how did you get them? How long did it take you to figure them out? Did someone or something help you? If so what or who? I only use PaintShop Pro 7.02. It's about 10 years old. I got it the "cheater" way. lol It's a really simple program. It didn't take me very long to figure it out back when I started. Maybe a month. Someone I knew in highschool helped me a little. She gave me the basic run through of the program but most of the stuff I figured out myself. I still learn new things even nowadays with the program. I look up tutorials via Google. : ) 25. What is your favorite earth animal? What is your favorite creature(anything)? Second favorite? Third? My favorite earth animal are horses. I like the canine form, but they aren't really favorites. lol I also like ravens and snakes. Any creature? Hmm. Probably dragons. But I DO like the old Dire Wolves and SaberTooth Tigers. The WERE real. But not anymore. lol I like lots of mythical creatures though. I enjoy reading about them. ^_^ 26. If you were able to visit any time whatsoever, when would it be? Probably olden times Japan. I love the times of the samurai and ninja. <3 27. If you were to have some sort of special power, what would it be? Hmm. The power to control wind/water/ice. Like Shen'. ^_^ You're friend is VERY lucky that her school took her seriously and got her out of that environment. I told my school numerous times. The cops were even involved twice. But no one took me seriously because I was a teenager. And teenagers are apparently the devil spawn in my hometown. And my mother was a very good liar. Everyone believed her. Many people in that town still believe her. I was a good student who never got in trouble in school, graduated with honors, was in french immersion (so most of my classes were in french and not english), and didn't do anything "bad". I didn't drink, go out and party, smoke, do drugs, nothing. And she's got half the town believing I was a terrible daughter and a troublemaking teenager who ran away from home because I couldn't do what I wanted. I saw her once after I moved, walking along the road, and would have run her over with my car if I thought I could get away with it. That's how much I hate her. She gave birth to me, but she's not my mother. She's a monster. I don't consider myself all that strong though. I just do what I have to to survive. I lived with a crack whore for 5 months because the room I rented from her was all I could afford. I took care of her 12 year old daughter because the mother was so fucked up half the time. The daughter was a 12 year old little bitch. And I don't handle stress all that well. It builds up and builds up and when I snap I kinda crash hard. I have.lots of scars. So yeah. Not really that strong. I just do what I need to keep going. Even if it's not the healthiest decision. It's just about moving forward however I can.
1. Not much. lol I take life one day at a time. I don't really think about the next day until it's here. lol Drawing and writing keeps me sane though. 2. Most of the art community. lol I think artists are too full of themselves nowadays. It's not really a talent anymore. It's about being better than everyone else and being greedy. 3. I merged my two favorite animals. Canines and horses. I wanted a unique species to use in some of my stories, and drawing just dogs or horses was boring. I wanted something of my own, that I related to. :3 4. Watching my shows. lol I keep up to date with House, Criminal Minds, Bones, Simpsons, SouthPark, Family Guy, King of the Hill, Dead Zone, Pushing Daisies, Penn&Teller Bullshit, Mythbusters, Supernatural.if I can't keep up with them on tv (I've only got 2 channels) I download thm instaed. lol 5. Not really anyone. I looked up to an artist once, and was her friend, but she betrayed me. So I don't really put my trust into anyone anymore. I do admire Yuu Watase as an artist. I don't know her as a person so I can't have much of an opnion on that. But I like her art and stories. lol I heard PaintShop 8 and up aren't good and I've heard they're overly complicated. But that's only what I've heard. I'm very old fashioned with my art tools (digital or traditional), so I've always gone to huge lengths to keep my old version. lol I had a pencil for 10 years and only changed it when I was able to find one of the EXACT same make. lol 1. When might the next chapter be done? Truthfully, probably not until after christmas. Writing for me is a lot of work. I have a fold-out sofa that I sit on to compute. The computer ISN'T in front of me. It's to the side of me on a coffee table. lol So I sit sideways on the couch to compute. But when I write, I need to lean back and stretch my legs out. So to write, I fold out the sofa bed and sit on that. But it eats up livingroom space and quite frankly, it stinks. lol This bed is older than I am, and as horribly TRAUMATIC as it is for me to think it, I was probably conceived on this thing. XP BLAAAAAAAAAAAH. The mattress is old and reaks something awful. Not fun. Not fun at all. lol But I do have HALF of chapter 3 written. lol I just want to type up some stuff first. Like a disclaimer. Because truthfully, what I upload of Shikonki is merely the first drafts. So what you folks read are shotty, quite frankly. lol Information is going to change, and you guys aren't going to read the new drafts. Those are my secret. lol And people don't seem to realize that. Because stuff changes with the characters and I don't update the web copies. But that's how it's going to be. lol Any fixes or changes to already-uploaded-chapters are for my eyes only. So I want a real good disclaimer so I don't keep getting comments pointing out errors that aren't really errors. lol You guys all read it at your own risk. lol But I've also got art trades, 3 more commissions AND contest prizes to work on, which have to be done before the new year. Well. The trades can wait if they have to. But commissions and contest prizes need to get done. I haven't got many colored pieces to pick from for posters right now. I need to color my ass off. lol 2. Will you post it on your website like your other two? Yes. I'm only posting it on my website now. FictionPress is a prick that has a page limit. So does DA. So my website is my only option. I'm HOPING to get it added properly. But it'll probably get uploaded into the little side folder like the last 2 times. I just haven't felt like, or had much time to work on html for the site. 3. How many chapters do you plan on having? Shikonki will be written in 3 parts. They can be put together as 1 large book or 3 smaller books. Probably about 30 chapters each. It depends. I'm still in the process of realling fleshing out the plot. 4. If you were to go and publish it all as a book what would you name the book besides Shikonki? I have no clue. lol Shikonki fits all too perfectly. Though each part will have a subtitle. The first part is mostly about Shen'. The second is mostly about the sword. The third is mostly about Rip. But I might switch the
second and third. So Rip will come first. It flows a little better. I'm not sure on the subtitles yet either. lol They're all still works-in-progress. lol 5. What would be on the front cover? I haven't thought of this much either. lol I think mostly Shen', holding Shikonki (the sword) with Rip mostly covered in shadow in the background. I kinda want a dark-yet-cute look to it. lol 6. Would you do the cover art? I'd probably do a version of it, but depending on how far I've gone artistically when that time comes, I may or may not use my art as the cover. lol I'd definately use an anime artist though. But if I commissioned someone, they'd have to be able to draw the characters EXACT. All their details. I'd be quite anal about it. lol And no one has yet to do a PERFECT/SPOTLESS reproduction of any of my characters. lol But I don't expect them to. XD Gift art isn't about perfect accuracy. lol 7. What would the back cover summery say? Not all that sure on this either. lol A back summary involves knowing the plot. XD And the plot is constantly changing still. I probably won't know for sure until I finish Shikonki. lol 8. Would you ever turn it into a manga? If someone approached me and was interested in doing so, maybe. But much like the cover art, the person/people would have to be ACCURATE. lol Very very accurate. lol And their style would have to be fitting for Shikonki. It would be quite complicated a process. lol 9. If it were turned into a movie, who would have play RIP, Shen, Harwicks voice, HacTao, Ajay, Rippu-chan(if he turns girl in it)? That one was just for fun and out of curiousity. They don't have to be actors or actresses from just one country. I'd never let Shikonki get turned into a life action. It just.wouldn't look right. An anime movie? Sure. But I'm not all that sure on who would voice them. Definately japanese voice actors/actresses. But I haven't heard anyone yet in all of my anime watching that would be right. Shen's voice couldn't be too girly. Rip's would have to range from demented/psychotic one moment and calm/serene the next. I'd have to close my eyes and listen to different people. Picture the characters talking in their voices. lol
Grateful Paws Dog & Cat Rescue, Inc. A No-Kill, Not for Profit, 501c3 organization AUGUST 2009 Issue #1 (and it is about damn time…) Editor: Jan Milbyer WELCOME TO “THE GRATEFUL PAW” Our first newsletter in almost 3 years -- A little History: Grateful Paws Dog & Cat Rescue, Inc. was founded in January 2006 in Fort Lauderdale, Florida. We are a no-kill, not-for-profit, 501c3 anim